Convergence 2024 : Self-Reflection: The First Step to Real Change

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[[https://bit.ly/3VSuTck The Road Map to Love]]
[[https://bit.ly/3BLeIa4 Patriarchy Stole My Power and Now I'm Gonna Take it Back!]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gRjTnS Digging Up Negative Dating Patterns]]
[[https://bit.ly/3DvYfqS The Mama's Boy Myth]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iJwIlM The Majority of "Dating Crimes" Are In Our Heads]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iSG8eJ The Dating Chase]]
[[https://bit.ly/4iR17yE The Physics of Relationships]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gNQ6wg Dating While "Fat"]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gL16KE Men Are Hardwired to Cheat And Other Silly Stories]]
[[https://bit.ly/4gSIxnR The Conservative Backlash Towards Attempts to Liberate Relationships]]
[[https://bit.ly/3VVZLsu Seeking to Change Your Partner]]
[[https://bit.ly/3VUFZgZ Sluts Studs And Straightjaket Sexuality]]

I imagine it can be very difficult to make sure your sexuality is not erased when you’re bisexual. People are fairly obtuse, and have difficulty accepting when others do not conform to their preconceived binaries. Given people’s tendencies to create strict binaries and cast out those who do not adhere to them, I’m sure many bisexual people are not welcomed in some gay communities for being “not gay enough” and not welcomed in some straight communities for being “not straight enough”, or their same-sex attraction is erased without constant insistence and reinforcement of it.

I’m interested in hearing experiences of biphobia if anyone wants to share. I’m wondering what unique types of bullshit the patriarchy comes up with for bisexual people.

Outrage and Sprinkles
Outrage and Sprinkles
May 13, 2013 at 10:19 am | Permalink
I’m a woman and my partner is a man, and we’re both bi. What tends to happen to us is just flat-out erasure. He works with a bunch of men, all very stereotypical manly men who are pretty much all homophobic/racist/sexist, and he has to hear their bullshit because they all assume he is straight. I don’t even want to know what it would be like for him there if they knew he was bi. He’s had male friends question his sexuality and question whether he’s really gay. I don’t get that kind of thing as much but it’s insulting when people question him, because we’ve been together almost six years and when they think he must be secretly gay they are questioning our relationship.

We haven’t been excluded from any communities for our identity, but there is a certain level of awareness we need to have. Like, we enjoy going to the gay bar because we feel safer and more comfortable there (we live in a conservative town in a liberal state, so a lot of bars can be breeding grounds for homophobic, racist, and sexist behavior) but unless we go as “friends” and don’t present as a couple, we could very well be seen as a straight couple in a gay bar, which in turn can make the gay and lesbian patrons feel unsafe or make us feel unwelcome.

A couple years ago at the local Pride fest the MC asked the crowd to cheer if they were gay men, then to cheer if they were lesbians, and that was it. We both looked at each other and went “Nope!”. I dunno, it’s the little things. We are both aware of our privilege as a couple that appears straight, but it’s a complicated privilege because it comes from our identities being hidden or erased.
 
A couple years ago at the local Pride fest the MC asked the crowd to cheer if they were gay men, then to cheer if they were lesbians, and that was it. We both looked at each other and went “Nope!”.

Wow what kind of fail Pride MC was this?

Outrage and Sprinkles
Outrage and Sprinkles

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