Dernières actualités https://convergence2024.le-mes.org/? fr-FR Copyright (c) 2026 Convergence 2024 Wed, 17 Jun 2026 12:59:48 +0200 http://www.stervinou.com/projets/rss/ Economie Sociale et Solidaire contact@yeswiki.net (Mr YesWiki) contact@yeswiki.net (Mr YesWiki) 60 Dernières actualités https:#yeswiki.net/themes/margot/images/favicon.png https://convergence2024.le-mes.org/? Something in the air

Something in the air

Description We Lived Separate Lives
We Were Living Like Roommates
The Real Reason You Haven't Found Your Perfect Partner
Why Aren't You Married? Facing Your Love Alibi
Ever Have A False Positive In Dating?
When Love Manifestation Turns Into Mani-Frustration
Are You Discounting Yourself In Love?
Ordering Love Like A Latte
Looking For A Quick Fix For Your Love Life?
Impatient for Mr. Right?

There is something in the air here at One Date Wonderland, and I would seriously like to find something that will kill it. But, at least it makes for fun stories!

First it was my ex-husband. He reappeared and started trying to get back in touch to be “friends”. There some some blather about how it had been a year, tough choices were made, he was second-guessing. It was all very vomit-worthy. The third time I sent him packing I thought he was gone. (Especially since I told him he was being extremely rude to his live-in girlfriend of almost a year.) Until he IMed me a few days later. For the record? I simply ignored it.

Then it was The Philosopher. I think I have neglected to tell our story here, so I will save that for another time. Just know that we have been back and forth since November, although after a bad bedroom incident, I stopped communication. Still, he calls. Last night, he called. I am not responding.

Also last night, The Insinuator returned! He started IMing me, and I seriously could not be bothered to even answer. This is how the one-sided exchange proceeded:

Him: Hi Jane long time no hear, how are you?
Him: I hope you still remember me
Him: hope you are not ignoring me… I just want to say hello, thats all
Him: ok bye then

Yes, bye then. Please don’t come back.

Are we quite finished now? Because I truly could not be less interested in any of these men. Fascinating how I could have an unattractive, passive aggressive guy who’s bad in bed any day of the week. But a real live decent man? Yeah right. Anyway, pass the Lysol. Or something.
Début de l'événement 15.04.2024
Fin de l'événement 15.04.2024
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]]> Tue, 15 Apr 2025 17:43:10 +0200 Date #99: Abs Guy

Date #99: Abs Guy

Description There’s No Such Thing as a “Good” or “Bad” Marriage
A Married Man Needs Only 3 Things From His Wife
I Am Not The Caretaker of My Marriage
10 Guilty Pleasures For Couples
The Man Behind How I Have It All
14 Ways Having Kids Affects Your Relationship
Love Rewards the Brave
The Book That Changed the Way I Look at Love
When Divorce Runs in the Family
The Silence That Can Save Your Relationship
Is It Ever OK to Lie to Your Spouse?

Ok – this is it – really, this time!

From this moment on, I will ONLY meet up with dates where there’s some semblance of a connection by phone first. I’ve been overly optimistic one too many times in thinking that even though there’s not much of a phone connection, it might be different in person. Newsflash: it never is!

Case in point: today’s coffee date with Abs Guy (so named because he’s showing off his well-sculpted abs in his profile pic). We first talked on the phone maybe a year or two ago – he didn’t recall this fact – and I clearly remember that we had no click at that time. He contacted me again recently.

Over coffee, it was quite apparent that there was no zing. We did the polite one-hour thing, then went our separate ways. So why did I agree to meet up in the first place, when I sensed that there was next to no chance of an in-person click? Maybe my usual Pollyanna optimism… the thought that it’s “only” an hour, and I was going to be in his neighborhood anyway… who the hell knows.

My New Month Resolution (since I don’t want to wait for the New Year): to ONLY go out on dates after we’ve had a chance to talk on the phone for at least 15 minutes – AND I sense there may be a connection. Hopefully by doing this, I’ll start getting exciting about meeting these guys again!

I don’t have any first dates scheduled in the near future, but I’ve been exchanging e-mails with a few new guys lately. The next first date will be my one hundredth first date since February 2005 – yikes.

Seems like the perfect time to change my approach to dating!
Début de l'événement 10.04.2024
Fin de l'événement 10.04.2024
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]]> Thu, 10 Apr 2025 17:23:15 +0200 OMFG.

OMFG.

Description My Dead First Husband Is Haunting My Marriage
My Husband Is Ashamed of Me
My Husband Barely Talks to Me Anymore — So I Cheated on Him
My Husband Is a Big Bore
My Husband is a Compulsive Gambler
My Husband Is Depressed
When Your Boyfriend Flirts Too Much
When "Taking It Slow" Feels Like a Red Flag
The Ethics Of Breaking Up With A Sick Partner
State of the Relationship Union
Widowed and Dating: Navigating Sympathy and Honesty
Love vs. Security: Can You Build a Future Without That ‘Spark’?
What Really Counts as Cheating?
Polyamory Dating or Just Playing?

A few weeks ago, I wrote this:

Blast from the past -- I'm seeing New Guy this week for a belated birthday dinner. Refresher: New Guy and I dated for a few months about a year ago, stayed in touch now and then, and I realized that I still had feelings for him. (d'oh! Freudian slip? Just now I typed out "HAVE feelings" rather than the past tense "HAD feelings". Interesting!)

Anyway -- the plan is for a casual, platonic, birthday dinner -- he told me on the phone that we have loads to catch up on. ("Oh, you just remembered that you're crazy about me?", I thought hopefully) It will be lovely to see him -- maybe we'll have one (or more) of those fabulous, passionate kisses -- well, that wouldn't be so terrible...


New Guy and I wound up canceling those plans that night -- we were both exhausted from work -- and rescheduled for tonight. Being the wonderful, thoughtful person he is, he brought a belated birthday present for me. We had our usual, easy, fun banter about everything and nothing.

Until seemingly, out of nowhere, he mentioned that he had moved out of his place. Then came the news that he had moved in with his girlfriend (when I last saw him in June, he still wasn't quite ready for a "serious" relationship with her, even though he felt that he couldn't date anyone else).

Then -- the really big news -- they're expecting a baby together. It wasn't planned, but at the same time, he's excited about it. And this has made him really want to work on a healthy relationship with her, so they can be the best parents they can be for this baby.

I was rendered speechless. I told him I was very happy for him, gave my congratulations, and all that. I then walked home in a stupor. The second I walked through my door, the dramatic, heaving sobs began, and I went through a big pile of tissues.

One good thing, I guess (because it's all about "me", right?) -- at least now I can really, truly, officially close that door. I mean... it's actually been closed for a while. But now it's sealed firmly shut. I'm sure another will open... soon, I hope.


Smiley is still in the picture, still moving along as we were: seeing quite a bit of each other, but moving at a reasonable pace. Slow and steady. I'm seeing him tomorrow night, but am SO happy I already have the day planned with a friend first -- it would have been tough to go straight to a date with him without having a chance to properly rehash this news about New Guy first.

Then there's Quentin -- we had that second date last week (and a first kiss). Another date is set for this weekend.



Ok -- I just have to admit to myself that it's OK to be sad about New Guy. It's hard to describe here, but he's just one of the most amazing, remarkable, smartest, sweetest, most considerate guys I've ever met. Maybe I've inflated him in my mind because of his unattainability -- who knows.

I think a big part of my sadness is, in fact, frustration: I just want to meet someone fabulous, who also thinks I'm fabulous. It's just taking way too long.
Début de l'événement 02.04.2023
Fin de l'événement 02.04.2023
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]]> Wed, 02 Apr 2025 15:26:48 +0200 Puppy-Boy

Puppy-Boy

Description Marriage vs. Memories: Can We Declutter and Stay Together?
Marriage Under Stress: Navigating Parenthood and Mental Health
The Silent Strain: How Unspoken Needs Led to a Marriage Crisis
Marriage on the Rocks: Navigating the Challenges of Illness and Expectations
From Disconnect to Connection: Rebuilding Marriage After Fear and Fatigue
Living Together Was So Much Easier Than Being Married
The Ultimate Guide to Successful Online Dating
Smack and Marriage Don’t Mix
Why Dating Feels Like a Game and How to Win at It
How to Date Without Losing Yourself
How to Decide When Relationship Feels Platonic
Is Your Dating History A Dealbreaker?
Ratting Out a Cheater

My friends generally consider me to be an open, friendly social sort. Sometimes, a bit too much.

This was apparent this weekend: I was on the subway en route to a friend’s party. The guy next to me starts up a conversation, mainly about the subway delays, etc. He was adorable in a 20-something-puppy-boy way – seriously, if he were a dog, he’d be spinning in circles, chasing his own tail. I quickly dropped into conversation some info about a recent bike ride my “boyfriend” and I had taken… just so it was out there.

No matter. He still chats away, the sweet little thing. We got off at the same stop, where I was connecting to another subway line to meet a friend en route to the party.

I don’t know why, but next thing I knew, I had invited Puppy-Boy to accompany us to the party. He accepts. I figured, the party was bound to be filled with fun, cool, people… so what’s one more?

Met up at the next subway with friend E, who didn’t seem at all surprised that I’d found a new friend. Puppy-Boy continues to chat away (more chasing his own tail)… and we quickly discover that he’s a bit ADD-ish, hopping from one topic to the next.

At the party, Puppy-Boy quickly befriends everyone in the place, in his friendly, loud, goofy manner. The hostess, my friend Party Girl, asks if he came with me – I stammered, “um, yeah, he’s kind of a new friend”, thinking that if he were to burn the house down or steal the family jewels, it would be a bit embarrassing to admit that I’d picked him up on the subway a half-hour earlier.

Luckily, there were no major mishaps – actually, Puppy-Boy was quite handy with the grill, and did a great job keeping everyone’s plates filled. AND I spotted him helping to clean up, unasked.

If he were 10 years older, I’d consider introducing him to some of my single friends… but alas, he’s just a young pup…
Début de l'événement 28.03.2023
Fin de l'événement 28.03.2023
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]]> Fri, 28 Mar 2025 17:19:48 +0100 We’re half-minorities

We’re half-minorities

Description Marriage vs. Addiction: Winning the Battle for Love
Marriage Without Intimacy: Can Love Survive the Distance?
Holding On or Letting Go: When Addiction Tests a Marriage
The Marriage We Almost Lost: How Unemployment Changed Everything
Marriage And Chaos: Finding Common Ground in Parenting
He Seemed Interested. So Why Didn’t He Call?
Online Dating Isn’t Desperation
Changing Your Dating Approach
Why Modern Dating is More Complicated Than Ever
Dating Someone With Debt
Marriage vs. Parenthood: Life After Having a Baby
The Fine Line Between Casual Dating and Commitment
How to Handle the Truth After Discovering a Betray

  • “Ted: You’re half-black, right? Really, all this is about is not being a puta — a bitch.”

lol I don’t respond very well to this kind of pep talk. Like some guys really respond to the drill sergeant kind of “Man up, don’t be a bitch, approach that set!!” stuff, but I’m pretty chill/intellectual so these guys always come off as kind of knobs to me and my response is also “lol ya okay…”

“Ted: Nah, a lot of guys fold under social pressure. Guys like us have it easy, we have an easy training ground.

Me: What?

Ted: We’re half-minorities…really whole minorities, what’s the difference.

Me: Okay….

Ted: We gotta get lots of people to call you a nigger tonight.

Me: ……………………………………………………………I don’t want to die, or anything.”

fucking lol. The funny part to me is how insane this probably sounded to you, but I DO totally understand what he’s trying to say.

Basically imagine you’re a rich kid born into wealth. But say that to succeed in life, you need some financial management skills and know how to budget etc. Well, if you’re a rich kid, you’re not going to learn that shit…you would have to give away a bunch of your money or construct really weird scenarios just to get a chance to have a reason to learn that shit. You go travel around with no money trying to learn to budget, but then your mom sends you a $100,000 cheque on the road and you’re like “well fuck I guess I’ll just get my 5 star hotel room with this after all”. Like, you’re probably not going to learn to manage your money.

But if you grow up poor, you have “an easy training ground” to learn financial management skills, because every dollar counts and means the difference betwen eating or not eating that day. SO down the road when you hit those tests where you need money management skills, you fucking own it because you’ve had all this training that the rich kid didn’t.
Début de l'événement 27.03.2023
Fin de l'événement 27.03.2023
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]]> Thu, 27 Mar 2025 17:48:01 +0100 Ms. Umbrella Warrior Princess

Ms. Umbrella Warrior Princess

Description How a Meddling Mother Nearly Ruined My Marriage
How We Rebuilt Our Marriage Through Therapy
Saving a Marriage After an Affair
Can Marriage Survive Infidelity?
Is Your Marriage a Partnership or a Prison?
Keep Him From Walking Out That Door
Managing Expectations in Dating
Why I Believe In Marriage
Dating Advice From Happily Married Couples
The Man or the Money
Walk Away From Parental Control in Relationships
When You’re Stuck in the “Casual Dating” Zone
A Necessary Courtesy or Just Overkill in Online Dating?

For those of you who haven’t heard, the eastern coast of the U.S. was recently bombarded by Hurricane Irene. The reason I bring this up is because the torrential rains have forced us to break out our wellies and umbrellas. From my experiences in Paris, I’ve found that the umbrella can be an essential man-shopping tool for avid man-shoppers of all levels. Think of it this way: The umbrella is a fashion accessory AND a weapon.

When I say “umbrella”, I am not referring to those dinky foldable umbrellas that slide into a lady’s handbag. I am referring to a proper brolly with a hooked wooden handle and a large enough wingspan to encompass both a lady and all her handbags underneath in order to protect them from the elements. In my humble opinion, this is the only kind of umbrella worth owning.


www.nataliedee.com

Moving on, let’s discuss how an umbrella can enhance your man-shopping experience in Paris and elsewhere.

The umbrella as a fashion accessory

A lady can strike quite a debonair pose while leaning on a full-sized umbrella. I’d like to think that a worthy man would be attracted to a lady in a trench who carries a striking cane-like accessory.
From a practical point of view, I find it much more difficult to lose or mislay an umbrella if I can hook it on my arm or lean upon it whilst in conversation with and perhaps getting distracted by potential suitors.
For those blustery rainy days, maintaining dignity is difficult if one is constantly wrestling with an uncooperative foldable umbrella that turns inside-out and breaks at the slightest gust. Without one’s dignity intact, there’s no decent man-shopping to be done, I assure you.
The umbrella as a weapon

In Paris, the men can be (physically) aggressive ass-wipes. In the states, you may get cat calls and appreciative under-the-breath comments, but in Paris, you will need to beat these idiots off with a stick — namely, your umbrella stick. With a large umbrella, a lady can do some effective damage to an unwanted suitor, should she need to make her lack of interest clearer when he attempts to grab her in the street.
If a lady sees a worthy man-target in her midst, but her path across the room is blocked by passers-by and less desirable suitors, she can more easily part the crowd by rapping people in the shins with her handy cane-like umbrella.
If a lady needs to run away from unwanted attention on a rainy day and is faced with a narrow parisian sidewalk filled with clueless people, she can easily hog the sidewalk to make a quick getaway, as other pedestrians with less hearty umbrellas would easily be intimidated and back away from the superior rain accessory in order to avoid injury.

www.nataliedee.com

In conclusion…

I highly recommend big umbrellas to supplement your daily man-shopping operations.

They.

Are.

AWESOME.
Début de l'événement 26.03.2023
Fin de l'événement 26.03.2023
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]]> Wed, 26 Mar 2025 17:29:04 +0100 Cabin Fever

Cabin Fever

Description Surviving a Long-Term Affair and Saving a Marriage
Transforming Communication and Parenting in a Troubled Marriage
Healing a Marriage by Confronting Insecurities and Building Trust
Religious Differences and Strengthening Marriage Bonds
The Affection Gap: Bridging Emotional Distance in a Long-Term Marriage
Workplace Dating Detours
When Blind Dates Go Wrong
Comfort Vs. Fulfillment In Modern Dating
Demanding Respect and Openness in a Relationship
Get Outta My Dating Pool
Seeking Clarity and Connection in Dating
Gym Flirting 101
Finding Balance in Love After Loss

So I'm not exactly snowed in...I suppose I could go out but I am hearing reports that the roads aren't fantastic and I don't really need to go out so why risk it. I typically don't mind the down time to catch up on movies I've wanted to watch, stitching I wanted to do, books I wanted to read, etc. I really and truly enjoy being alone and existing inside a quiet and calm space. I love the luxury of doing exactly what I want to do when I want to do it. I love the freedom that comes with having nowhere to be and doing whatever your heart desires.


Apparently my heart desires cleaning my room and washing my bed sheets, duvet cover, pillow cases, body pillow case, etc. I hate cleaning...honestly hate it. I forget to dust until I go to turn off my alarm clock and my fingers come away grey with dust. It's gross but true. The only thing dusted in my room is my computer table where my laptop sits (because I use it everyday) and my sink area (cause it's gross to wash your face and brush your teeth in filth). I also have piles of clothes all over my room. They stay there until they drive me nuts or I trip on them in the middle of the night trying to get water or pee. At that point they just get picked up and thrown into the corner by my closet...and there they sit until wash day.

My bookcase has turned into a jewelry hold all, a coach wristlet swapping station, and a all around junk clusterfuck. It is a sin because I have amazing books that I would LOVE to showcase (not that anyone else in my family gives two shits about a good book) but where do I put all this crap? If there is a surface in my room it has something on it. I am not a hoarder...well maybe slightly. I feel bad throwing away cards or things people give me...then it all gets to be too much and I purge everything.

I do mean everything. I go on a crazy binge. I throw out anything I don't need...and by need I mean need to live, breathe, exist...everything goes! Any clothes that happen to annoy me straight into a bag for goodwill or purple heart. I clean house. When I clean it's a 3 day adventure into every drawer and every corner of the closet and I am left feeling pretty good about all I have acomplished. Today feels like one of those days. It's pretty bad when even I can't stand the mess my room has become.

My grandmother is convinced I'll never be able to get married and keep a household neat. Well, yeah, no crap! The funny thing is anything I use in the kitchen gets cleaned immediately, the living room is spotless, I don't like clutter and mess in places where everyone sees it...but my room...forget about it. FEMA may be sent in here at any given minute to make order out of this natural disaster of a room. I should probably wear a hazmat suit. Okay..it's not that bad...it's just super cluttered. Time to de-clutter. Wish me luck. I sincerely hope I can find my way out of this again at some point today!


If I don't show up...please send help to dig me out!
Oh...and thanks for not un-following me for my drunken post last night! :-) Love ya's.
Début de l'événement 24.03.2027
Fin de l'événement 24.03.2027
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]]> Mon, 24 Mar 2025 17:48:21 +0100 Double-Checking Your Non-Negotiables

Double-Checking Your Non-Negotiables

Description He Went to War and Came Back a Changed Man
Unmasking Hidden Unhappiness in Marriage
Workaholic Heartbreak: When Success Costs Your Marriage
Recession Realities: When Financial Stress Tests a Marriage
When Unemployment Tests Marriage
Movies That All Women Should See To Understand Men
Love Lies and Responsibility
The Dating Mishaps of the Ladies of Love Twenty
The Black Male Preference Privilege
Anatomy of a Great (Reality) Relationship
Your Rear End or Your Pride
Why Splitting Costs Isn't Splitting Love
(Broken) Laws of Attraction

Deep down, we all have a list of non-negotiable items that we want in a significant other. We may never actually speak of the list with other people, or maybe even spend time thinking about them, but they impact who we choose to date and who we choose not to date.

I actually think that some people have this list in their sub-conscious thoughts because many of the conversations I have had leading up to writing this article has been about the definition of a non-negotiable and what role it plays in choosing mates. Most of the people that I spoke with knew exactly what I was talking about once I started explaining it, but they never were able to put a title with their lists.




What is a non-negotiable list?
A non-negotiable list is a list of deal-breakers. It contains the character qualities, emotional qualities, or physical qualities that you want in your future partner. It is not a “wish list,” it’s a rational and reasonable list of qualities that an actual human can possess.

How to create your own non-negotiable list
In order to figure out what you want out of a relationship, you need to start with the type of person you would like to date. To do this, you must figure out what matters most to you. Is it politics, religion, looks, lifestyle? Whatever it is, find out your number one non-negotiable and build from there.

Once you have a good list put together, put the list aside and think on it for a few days.

When you revisit your list, pull out another piece of paper and do it over from scratch—then compare the two lists. Most of the time after you’ve given something some thought, it will change. The items that are repeated are the things that matter most to you and therefore should be on your non-negotiable list. The others, well, that’s up to you whether to include them or not.

After you’re put together your list, tell someone about it. You need to make sure it is reasonable and not too lofty of a list for someone to attain.

Also, if you can’t say your list out loud or tell someone about it, then that’s another sign that you don’t really want it or that you want it for the wrong reasons.

My non-negotiable list
For me, it starts with the most important non-negotiable item and then builds on from there with more not so important, but still important non-negotiable things.

My number one non-negotiable item is what I call, “Heart Matters.” This is an accumulation of qualities about his heart (emotionally and spiritually) that I would really like for my partner to have.

From there I have other non-negotiables that cover matters from lifestyle to aspirations and desires.




How to use your non-negotiable list to your advantage
I have a rule that I go on a date if asked—always, unless I know for a fact that my non-negotiables are not met. Once out on the date, I make sure to ask the right questions to see if he meets a few of the items on my list. If he does, we go out again, and if he doesn’t then I move onto the next.

Your list from here on out should be what you stick with. If that’s what you want, hold out for it.

I know that even if someone is “perfect” in the world’s eyes, but he does not have one of the items on my list, the relationship will not work. It won’t—because the things that matter most to you are not met.

Sticking to the list has saved me from more heartache than I can tell. I oftentimes want to kick myself for not starting this sooner, but, heartache is necessary and overcoming heartache is self-improvement.
Début de l'événement 20.03.2023
Fin de l'événement 20.03.2023
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]]> Thu, 20 Mar 2025 17:38:41 +0100 Cultivating Patience: Navigating Difficult Seasons Together.

Cultivating Patience: Navigating Difficult Seasons Together.

Description He Had an Affair Because I Stopped Initiating Sex
He Makes Me Feel Bad About Being Fat
He Lost Interest in Our Marriage
Saving A Marriage: He Lost His Job
He Lets His Mother Rule Our Lives and I'm Sick of It
Commitment Jitters
Love and Lust: When Chemistry Outruns Endurance
Bi Bi Love
Dealing With Your Partner’s Bedroom Confessions
Can His Squalor Be Squelched?
Asunder Down Under
Conquering Long Distance Dating
Coveting a Coworker

I convinced her to take a pregnancy test after she described some symptoms a few weeks after the wedding. So she didn’t know until then. The wedding was 6 months in planning and a destination wedding so it wasn’t shotgun.

When you are in a LTR there are good times and bad times. The key is to keep staying in love through the bad times. If someone has problems or issues it doesn’t mean that the relationship isn’t a good one. If they pull out of the bad times intact then the relationship gets stronger. If you can through this cycle several times and stay in love and committed then you have a good relationship.

If you never have any problems means that someone is keeping resentment inside and not rocking the boat which will blow up eventually.

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 1 Thumb down 3

Reply
Saj says:
February 13, 2012 at 4:52 pm
No the douchebags my brother brought home tended to be serial date rapists that made international news. Not romantic prospects (vomit)

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 0 Thumb down 2

Reply
DC Phil says:
Début de l'événement 18.03.2023
Fin de l'événement 18.03.2023
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]]> Tue, 18 Mar 2025 17:27:15 +0100 Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity in a Marriage

Overcoming Jealousy and Insecurity in a Marriage

Description He Cheats on Me During Business Trips
He Cheated with a Woman from the Gym
He Dotes On His Son and Ignores Me
He Didn't Know How to Listen to Her
He Flirts Too Much
Marriage Advice: 13 Lessons
Separate Vacations Don’t Have to Mean Divorce
Are Soul Mates Fact or Fiction?
Love vs. Parenthood: When the Perfect Partner Doesn’t Want Kids
Caring for Dad Is Destroying My Marriage
First Date: Who Pays and What It Really Means
Dating a Dad: When You Like Him But Not His Kid

- If it’s any 1st date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 2nd date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 3rd date: HE PAYS (Most of it 80%-90%, but pay for something…ANYTHING to help him feel appreciated)
- If it’s the 4th date: HE PAYS, YOU PAY 60-40
- If it’s the 5th: (sorry, courtship dance is OVER) SPLIT THE BILL

Times are different, I don’t need to be supporting a grown adult with a fledgling career of her own.

Reply

felinluv
January 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm #
Well said LeonD, really shows a woman’s character / or lack off

Reply

Mark
March 27, 2012 at 12:57 pm #
” If it’s any 1st date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 2nd date: HE PAYS (all of it)
- If it’s a 3rd date: HE PAYS (Most of it 80%-90%, but pay for something”

That system is merely a social construct. Women hear other women say that, and they spread this type of misinformation amoungst their female friends. That system was created after the feminist movement in the early ’70s. There was no mention of it prior to that era. It was created by women, and is perpetuated by women. Men will appease the status quo, as usual. But don’t kid yourself; they only do it to increase their chances of mating.
Début de l'événement 17.03.2022
Fin de l'événement 17.03.2022
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]]> Mon, 17 Mar 2025 16:51:51 +0100 Online Dating Burnout How to Keep Hope Alive

Online Dating Burnout How to Keep Hope Alive

Description We’re All Slutty For The Right Guy
Dear Men: This Is Why Loyalty Is So Important To Women
How Do You Avoid Dating a Liberal/Conservative?
Are You Looking For Fast Love Too?
Should You Fake an Active Lifestyle for Love?
When a Relationship Feels Like a Secret Mission
Pushing Through It
Embracing The Unexpected Path Of Singlehood
Why Is It So Hard to Believe Someone Might Stay?
Am I Crazy Or Is He A Hot Mess?


The problem with this question is that it immediately puts the dater on the defensive. They’ve just described a happy romantic experience, which, need I remind you, doesn’t happen every day. The polite thing to do is to let the single person bask in this transient stage of romantic excitement. The question “when are you seeing him again?” casts a shadow of doubt on the whole experience: if it was such a great date, surely you’ve already made plans for the next one, right? No? You haven’t? Hmmm. Maybe it wasn’t such a magical connection after all.

Here’s what you should do, as a friend to a single person:

Just assume that there will be a “next time.”

Just assume it! Let yourself be blinded by romantic optimism! Your friend is awesome, right? And he/she just described a great date–of course there will be a second one! Don’t ask if and when it’ll be! After all, you will probably hear about it from your excited friend the moment it’s planned.

And if there isn’t a next time? Well, you’re as shocked as anybody! You definitely didn’t cynically see that coming from the day the date was described to you.

And, also always remember that sometimes people have amazing dates, that, for whatever reason, don’t turn into relationships. It doesn’t make the experience any less wonderful, so don’t take away from it by immediately asking “Cool, when’s the next one?”
Début de l'événement 11.03.2022
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]]> Tue, 11 Mar 2025 17:32:05 +0100 the way to expose married guys

the way to expose married guys

Description The Top 10 White Lies People Tell In Online Dating Profiles
Things I Wish I Knew About Dating When I Was 22
8 Reasons You’re Single
Let’s Talk About Negging
What Are Your Pre-Date Nerves?
10 Things You Should Never Say To A Man In Bed
8 Things Men Want Women To Do In Bed
9 Things I Dread About Dating
I Wasn’t Jewish Enough

There are a number of similar, and sometimes hilarious posts on http://middleagedteen.blogspot.com, where this blogger has gone out of the way to expose married guys.

Anon5 years agoReply
Who are you to judge? How do you know this man’s circumstance? Maybe his wife gave him a hall pass? Maybe he is in an open marriage?

I personally grew up in a very strict religious home. I was taught that all contact with girls (and myself for that matter) was bad. Evil in fact. When I was old enough (20), the first girl I came into contact with that I had genuine feelings for I got married to, because God forbid, I couldn’t have sex unless I was married. So now, I’m 35, and have already been married for 15 years. i have two great kids, and do love my wife.

My friends on the other hand spent their high school and college days doing what most high school and college kids do. Party. Sleep with girls. They spent their 20’s and early 30’s enjoying single life and all the perks that come it. Now in their early 30’s they are all now just getting married, settling down, and having families. My point is, they all got it out of their system.

I on the other hand was so skewed about sex and relationships etc. due to my strict up bringing that I am just finally, at 35, breaking free and understanding what I missed out on. BUT, I’m 35, and have 2 kids.

I have not cheated on my wife, and don’t plan to. We are both open and discuss this issue a lot, and have been slowly opening up more in our sex life. We have discussed “hall passes”, “open marriage” and sharing an “experience” together, since neither of us have had any real sexual contact with any other person.

I guess my point is, you don’t know this person’s circumstance, and your self-righteous preaching to him seems over the top.
Début de l'événement 25.02.2022
Fin de l'événement 25.02.2022
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]]> Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:26:37 +0100 Marriage Counseling The Last Resort or the First Step

Marriage Counseling The Last Resort or the First Step

Description I Travel The World. Alone.
An Internal Monologue While Perusing Online Dating Matches
How To Hook Up In A Hostel есть 100 дубликат на frisky
How Do You Know When You’re Ready To Vacation Together?
How To Enjoy Travelling When You’re Not On Your Honeymoon
I Fantasize About Other Men
Why It’s Easier To Meet Men On Vacation есть 100 дубликат на frisky
If You’re 300,000 Miles Away, Don’t Call Your New Man
Will Our Marriage Survive Our First Road Trip Together?
When On Vacation ... Just Say Yes

She ignored our advice. This guy owns nothing; has no family here, and his job is not that lucrative…He is much younger (though, that alone would be no problem), He has already suggested (first week into their relationship) that they go into a business together, sell her house and buy one together (we suspect all or most of the money for the home would be her`s).

Her children are extremely upset. This man has taken NO time to get to know the children. Our friend has basically chosen this man over her kids and just before Christmas even!!!. The kids are living with their natural dad (the son just moved out because of the marriage, her three girls were already back and forth, and her relationship was already rocky, but improving with them before she met this man).

Our friend claims she totally trusts this man. He speaks broken English and we are not sure how long he as been here in Canada – he is from somewhere in the Middle East..lol..we are still not sure where.

We feel so upset for our friend`s children…and are worried what the intentions are of this man…he is either up to no good, or just very desperate and possibly very possessive. Our friend`s last marriage was with a possessive man…she seems to be repeating past mistakes, and is very desperate to settle down with one man, irregardless of the damage to her relationships with all her kids.

As friends, what can we do at this point?

Like or Dislike: Thumb up 6 Thumb down 2

Reply


LostSailor Says:
December 28th, 2012 at 7:41 pm
Nothing.
Début de l'événement 21.02.2022
Fin de l'événement 21.02.2022
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]]> Fri, 21 Feb 2025 10:31:10 +0100 im with peachtree on this

im with peachtree on this

Description Why Sex Talk On a First Date Is a Bad Idea
Is He Interested or Just An Attention Whore?
Never Give a Man More Credit Then He’s Earned
Stop Accepting Bad Behavior From Men
When Do You Ask A Guy If Things Are Serious?
Is She Doomed To End Up Alone?
Why The “Hot” People In This Article Aren’t Worth Dating
When You Get Dumped Sometimes You’re To Blame, Too
Never Double Down On A Guy Who Can’t Guarantee He’ll Stick Around
How To Deal With The Push Pull Guy
Who Has More Luck Online – Men or Women?
The Tell Tale Tatt


Andthatswhyyouresingle Says:
January 17th, 2012 at 2:27 pm
Yeah. That was too obvious. I figured most people knew it was her which is why I never bothered to respond.

Hot debate. What do you think? Thumb up 12 Thumb down 9

Reply


NYgal Says:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:26 pm
im with peachtree on this. This blog is amusing but please dont take any advice she gives seriously. The woman is a nut case with no LTR experience whatsoever. At 45!??

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 119 Thumb down 34

Reply


Carina Says:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:34 pm
Moxie, I had to wait for him to finish his business calls twice because Ive made it to his place earlier than expected. Both times I heard him on the phone and didnt want to knock loudly while hes on important work conversations. Hes the CEO of his company and I feel it is disrespectful to interrupt him while hes doing business. And when I said I wait, it is 2- 3 minutes until he gets my text that Im by the door.

Well-loved. Like or Dislike: Thumb up 21 Thumb down 7

Reply


DrivingMeNutes Says:
January 15th, 2012 at 10:45 pm
Début de l'événement 19.02.2022
Fin de l'événement 19.02.2022
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]]> Wed, 19 Feb 2025 10:37:21 +0100 Possibly My Best Solo Day Game Day Ever

Possibly My Best Solo Day Game Day Ever

Description Do You Reveal Too Much About Your Relationship?
Be Yourself: The Truth About Authentic Dating
Why So Many Relationships End at 90 Days
There really are NO BAD DATES!
How The Law of Attraction Can Help You Find Love
A Dude Diner’s Doctrine
Soundtrax To Your Life: Pre-Date Tunes
Ms. Awesome’s Advice for Men
Bad Relationships Aren’t Investments
How To Get A One Nite Stand Out Of Your Apartment

I’m still in my head to much when I’m rolling solo during the day. If I’m with my friends and having a good time, I can approach, because it’s almost like they expect me to approach. Like I’m the guy that has the balls to do the shit they don’t.

But, solo dolo, is generally a no go.

I say I’m going to approach, but then I talk myself out of every approach, Naw, nevermind, she’s only about a 6, Nevermind, she’s older than I thought she was…etc, etc.

So, I told myself, I was going to chill with this shit. I had a paper to write, but I don’t have class on Wednesday’s, so I decided to spend Wednesday at another school – work on my paper and get a few approaches in.

I was going to wake up at like 7am and eat breakfast and all that jazz and then head out to another school outside of the city, in a nearby town.

So, I wake up, but by the time I’m about to head out of the door, it’s later than I said I was going to get out.

Now, I don’t feel like driving up to another town. I’ll just go to this school downtown that I’ve never been to before and check it out.

I get up there, and walk around a bit.

Same old shit. Not approaching. Talking myself out of every approach. Naw, not her. Next one.

Eventually, I just give up and go to the library to work on my paper. I get in there and what the fuck? You can’t log into the internet without being a student there – really? No open wifi? Y’all suck.

I go downstairs to just grab something to eat and decide where to go now.

When I’m grabbing something out of the cafeteria, I notice one of the chicks at the cash register is cute. I go to her line.

I get up to her and she’s texting on the phone… “Look at you, texting on the job…”

She laughs, “Everybody texts on the job!”

I chat with her for bit, while she rings up my food, I make fun of her finger nail color and stuff. Then, I hit her with, “you are kinda cute though…”

“Thank you..”

“What’s your name?”

“[Her name]” I had already moved past a bit, so as not to hold up the line, she’s already checking out the next person in line, so I don’t really go for the close, I just tell her my name as well…

“Oh, okay! Nice to meet you [Willy Wonka]!” She smiles at me and then turns back to the customer she was checking out now.

Welp, at least that’s out of the way.

I eat. Then, I decide to head to another school on the other side of downtown. I’ve been up there once before to buy a textbook from their bookstore.

I get up there. Same thing. I walk around, scope the place out, but don’t approach.

Again, I decide to go to the library to start my paper.

I start a little bit, get a little bit written, but I can’t help but to be frustrated that I haven’t really approached anything. One chick that’s a cashier doesn’t even count that much – she’s paid to talk to customers.

So, I pack up my books and drop them in my bag and head back down the elevator.

I’m opening the first cute chick I see, no excuses.

I walk outside, and I see a cute chick across the street, sit down at the top of some steps.

Fuck it. Go for it.

I walk across the street and straight up the steps to her, “Hey, you got an interesting little school girl look to you…”

She laughs… “haha… what?”

“It’s your dress.”

“Thanks.”

“You look cute, though.”

“Awwwww…. thank you.”

“What building is this?” [snip thread, go into something else]

She tells me that it’s the theater, they do shows in their, she just came back from dance, she’s a model. She likes to go to clubs, she’s a psych major – then she tells me all about some paper she just wrote about children as young as two years old getting diagnosed with bipolar disorder and then getting prescribed adult medication. I could tell she was passionate about the subject, so I let her talk…

She stopped herself, “I’m sorry, I’m such a braniac…”

“Naw, it’s cool, so you’re saying the temporal lobes and the hippocampus that are the parts of the brain where they test to detect bipolar disorder?” [show that I'm listening, let her talk about something she cares about]

She picks it back up and continues.

I feel like this set is going well, but at the same time, I never really did any attraction – no real teasing or DHVs, just a very chit chatty vibe. Comfort game type stuff.

After she gets off of a subject she’s so passionate about, I start to drop teases in more where I can.

We talk for a bit, and then I think she tries to excuse herself by saying, “It’s hot out here, I’m about to go back inside. You’re welcome to come with me, though. “

I didn’t really like this frame of her going inside cuz it was hot, and me tagging along just to continue to talk to her. I try to excuse myself, “Naw, I actually need to go work on my paper.”

“Oh okay. Where are you working on your paper at?”

“Just in the library.”

“Oh, why don’t you just do it in the iMac room?”

“The iMac room?”

“Yeah, you’ve never seen the iMac room? It’s a computer lab in this building right here with a bunch of brand new iMacs. It’s really nice, I could show you.”

“Alright, show me.”

And, we walk towards that buidling. While walking, some dude says “what’s up” to her. She says “hey”. Then he tries to clown me, “Nice haircut bro.”

I ignore him the first time. ”Hey dude, I’m talking to you man.”

I turn my head, “Me?”

“Yeah. Nice haircut, bro.”

“Thanks.” I acted like he just gave me a compliment, eventhough I knew he was trying to clown me. I don’t know what that was all about, but I get it shortly, as Model/Dancer/Psyc Major tells me about it. She met him through a friend, then he found her on Facebook and tried to date her, etc, etc. She made him sound lame as hell, you could tell she was a bit annoyed by him too. ”He actually never talks to me anymore, I’m surprised he said ‘what’s up’ to me right there” she says.

Anyway, we get to the computer lab, she wraps up her paper and goes to class which was about to start. I start on my paper. I stay in the computer lab working on my paper, and she comes back in there when she should’ve been in class – “I was bored in class, I thought I’d come by and see if you were still here.”

“You got bored in class, so you left?”

“No, I’m going back. All my stuff is still in there.”

Ha, I’ll call that an IOI.

Anyway, I Facebook closed her of course – when we first got to the computer lab.

After sitting there, writing my paper for awhile I get hungry, and decide to go home and eat something.

I’m almost to my car, when another car parks in front of mine and a cute chick gets out. She starts walking toward the school. I can’t help myself, I walk up to her and stop her, “Excuse me, can I just say something? The way you got out of that car, it reminded me of a grandmother…”

She laughs… “What?… I, I, I wasn’t trying to…”

I snip her gibberish, “Naw, but you are cute though.”

She lights up. We start talking, she keeps saying she’s about to be late for class, but I keep drawing her back in. I get my phone out and I have it in my hand and I ask if she’s on Facebook, she says that she is, but then we start talking about something else. ”No, I really am about to be late for class, I need to get going.”

“Alright, here, put your name in here.” I hand her my phone.

She puts her name in my phone, but only her first name.

I read it and mispronounce it.

She laughs and then double checks to make sure she spelled it right. I make fun of her for only putting in her first name, she says her first name isn’t very common.

“So, there aren’t any other [her names]?”

“No, there are.”

I hand my phone back to her and she puts her last name in too. I tell her it was nice meeting her, and then I move on.

3 total sets. 2 Facebook closes. I’ll call that a decent day. Better than I normal day when I go out sarging alone.
Début de l'événement 31.01.2022
Fin de l'événement 31.01.2022
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]]> Fri, 31 Jan 2025 10:57:54 +0100 Online dating is boring. Here's how to entertain yourself

Online dating is boring. Here's how to entertain yourself

Description Can You Date A Younger Man?
The Qualities Of A Good Make Out Buddy
When Guys Should Pay On A Date And Why
Playing Games When Dating
How to Hit on Someone via Facebook
What Not To Say On A First Date?
Why Hasn't He Called and What Should I Do About It?
Getting Prepped for a First Date
Defriending Your Ex On Facebook

The people on online dating sites are so boring. Sometimes, you've just got to entertain yourself. Here are some IM conversations I've had with people:

[Day before the first date]
Her: I'm really nervous. You're not going to rape and murder me, are you?
Me: Don't worry, I'm not going to murder you.

Her: i make enough
Her: enough to travel when i am not working
Me: do you have any left over for retirement?
Me: i'm such a jew
Her: haha
Her: i haven't started planning that at all
Her: i am only 27
Her: it's the new 14
Her: :)
Me: lol
Me: now i'm even more attracted to you
Her: i have pubes.
Me: a little less

Me: brb, gotta pee again.
Me: I've got the bladder of a bunny
Me: It's in my pocket

[Talking to an Asian girl ]
Me: yeah you people all look the same to us
Me: you're a chick, right?
Her: hahaha
Her: white people look the same to us Asians
Me: sure we do
Me: that's because you're always squinting
Her: hahahaha
Me: open your eyes and you'd see the difference

[to a Japanese girl...]
Me: btw, i gotta insult you on not knowing about japanese porn. Have you no culture?
Me: what would your parents say?
Her: i know it exists!
Her: my parents taught me that much at least!
Me: haha
Me: yeah but you don't know much about it. Unlike me
Me: i'm somewhat of an expert. A pornnaisseur, if you will.
Her: hahaha i like that word
Début de l'événement 30.01.2021
Fin de l'événement 30.01.2021
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]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 10:47:21 +0100 Lines On Your Face

Lines On Your Face

Description Should Single Guys Use Emoticons
Leaving the Ghosts of an Ex Behind
Bitchiness as a Defense Mechanism: Lessons from Blogging About My Ex
Can You be Friends With an Ex?
The Men We Know We Have No Future With…
Men Who Ghost Before the First Date
No Strings Attached is Bullshit.
Do Women Really Want Equality In Relationships?
Your Best Friend the Hag
Why Being Single Doesn’t Suck
Rules For Hanging Out With Your Ex
How to Approach Guys in a Bar
How NOT to Approach A Guy In A Bar
8 Facts about Cheating

I’m a huge fan of all things musical.

It’s one of my biggest passions in this world, PERIOD!

So as I was going through my collection of songs yesterday, I happened upon one of my favorite live albums…Frampton comes Alive, by none other than Peter Frampton.

One of my favorite songs off this album is titled, “Lines On My Face”…It’s a great tune…check it out! Anyway, the reason I’m telling you this is because earlier that same day, a friend of mine called to ask some advice about a matter involving a young lady that he’s interested in.

The gist of the issue was this…My friend–that I’ll call Rick–wanted to know why he was having so much trouble advancing past the introduction stage. “I have her phone number, we’ve talked several times already, I just can’t seem to get along much further than that” he said with a tinge of frustration.

Instead of offering up any advice, I just asked him to continue talking about what he thought he was doing wrong. Then I just listened. After about five minutes or so, it became apparent what the problem was. Rick hadn’t done anything wrong at all….that is, if just learning techniques, tips and tricks to get the attention of a woman was the desired end result. He had that down.

Rick had been following some of the “experts” out there that teach pick-up lines and such, as a way to get women interested in them. Funny…I didn’t know people actually used lines at all, let alone in this day and age.

You see, what Rick didn’t know was that women can see a carpetbagger coming down the street with his bag of snake oil long before he reaches the edge of the city limits. What I suggested to Rick was to completely dump the so-called strategies and learn how to be comfortable in his own skin.

Learning to use your own natural gifts, then learning the confidence and poise that women find incredibly attractive is a much better way to attract women. After all, you can attract more bees with sugar than with vinegar.

I know, I know, it doesn’t sound very sexy does it; learning to be a better you.

But then again neither does lines written all over your face.

Stephen E. Gordon

“Making Magic Daily”
Début de l'événement 30.01.2022
Fin de l'événement 30.01.2022
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]]> Thu, 30 Jan 2025 10:14:10 +0100 The Break-Up

The Break-Up

Description Why girls on dating websites don't know how to have a conversation
Why “we need to talk” should be happening in your relationship
Living With The One You Love
4 Ways To Be Really Rude While Instant Messaging
How Emo Updates Hurt Your Relationship
How Straightforwardness Got Him the Date
How to Keep Long-distance Relationships Alive
How to Find Love in 2025
Is Religion Important When Dating?
Keeping A Romantic Life As A Single Mom
7 Sure-Fire Ways To Get Over A Relationship

Double-shot of whiskey on the rocks, splash of water…. I’m going to need it writing this post… as I gaze out of the airplane’s window…

………………………………………….

So, a few commenters have asked about GC… “what happened with you and GC?”

Well… we stayed together. We did the long distance thing.

And, it was fine at first.

The first semester away was hard, but we talked on the phone all of the time, she’d send me pictures of her breasts and cooter, I’d send her cock shots, I’d send her long texts and emails describing details about how I’m going to fuck her in various random scenarios, we’d have Skype sex, she’d use the vibrator I bought her and even send me pictures of when she would squirt all over her own hands, we had a Tumblr where we shared sex pictures we’d found on the internet that made us think of each other, we mailed each other “love letters”, I’d send her pictures of my new city, and overall we talked and made time for each other.

After 3 months, she saved up some money and got a new credit card and took out a little debt to come see me and we spent a weekend together – showing her the city and going at it like rabbits the whole weekend. A couple of weeks later, I surprised her by flying down for her birthday, taking her to a concert, and then throwing on a Fireman costume and hitting her with my hose. The concert just so happened to be the same artist whose concert we went to when we fucked for the first time. A couple of weeks after that I got lucky and got flown down for a business trip – free trip for me and I got to spend a couple of nights with her in a hotel room. Then, a couple of weeks after that was Christmas break and we spent it together in between each other’s respective cities – some time in her city, then we flew up to my city and spent some time together here.

We brought in the New Year’s together…. Drunk as fuck…. I don’t even know how I got home that night.

But after she flew back home in January, I started up a new semester…. And things got a lot harder for us as a couple.

First Issue

My phone broke early in January. Rather than deal with getting it fixed and shit, I decided to switch – from paying over $100 a month with Sprint to a pre-paid T-Mobile plan paying only $30 a month. Only thing is – this plan doesn’t have much minutes – it’s an unlimited data plan. No free nights and weekends, none of that. I thought I could get by in my relationship with Skype and Google Voice, but I underestimated how important those little calls at random times can be… and essentially all of our phone conversations got pushed to right before I went to bed. And,on nights when I was really tired I just skipped calling her all together.

Second Issue

I got busy as fuck. Overwhelmed with school, organizing large events, and the job search. I started to feel like I needed an offer on the table as soon as possible – because I’m sick of being broke, and I started to feel my bank account getting low, and my student loans piling up. Plus, I really feel the pressure to make straight A’s this time around, since I didn’t do so good in undergrad. So, I was working my ass off at school and I was never home. To further explain this, in this time – from New Year’s to Spring Break – I only went to the gym 3 times total, I never once got a hair cut, and I never once went to the grocery store. I never “felt” like I had time for those things. My relationship with GC got pushed to the side as well….

Third issue

I drank like a fish. If I wasn’t in school studying, I was at a bar with my buddies throwing down – on weekends and weekdays – didn’t matter. A mix of Jack Daniels and beer. Because of this, the whole two months of January and February are like a blur to me filled with too many nights I don’t remember.

These things culminated in two main problems on my part and in my behavior toward the relationship

I called and texted less – I would hardly ever call, going 3-4 days regularly without talking to her at all, sometimes even whole weeks. I even got bad at texting her – sometimes not responding to her for hours or even until the next day. And our texts somehow fell into a “hi”, “good morning babe” type of rut that it had never been in before.
I royally fucked up on Valentine’s – I didn’t get her anything. She wrote me a cute poem, got me a book about “Beers of The World” with cute little notes on pages of beers we had had together and on ones she wanted to have with me in the future. I didn’t get her anything – in a last minute attempt (read: noon on Valentines’ Day), I got her a Groupon coupon to a bakery that she received via email. She didn’t talk to me for the rest of the day and complained to all of her friends.
Her behavior changed too

No more naked pics, no more Tumblr updates, she got increasing less sexual towards me. No racy texts or anything. Then, the last couple of weeks before Spring Break, she just stopped calling and texting me…. when I finally realized our relationship was in trouble, she was no longer willing to put forth the effort.

This led to a vicious cycle

Of me being stubborn and not texting or calling her because I didn’t want to be the one who texted/called first and most likely, vice versa on her end.

But I still had plans to spend Spring Break with her

I had already bought my plane ticket – which was expensive as fuck. We had plans. Although the relationship reached a point where we weren’t even talking anymore and I felt like it was pointless - I tried to cancel my plans, but when I looked into it, I realized I’d wind up eating most of the costs and what I would get back would only be good for a voucher towards a domestic flight only. So, I figured it wasn’t worth it to cancel the trip. We actually broke up one night – for a few minutes – but then GC called me back and said “can we please wait it out until Spring Break and see how the week goes together.” Since I already had the tickets in made sense to me to agree to this. Plus, it was a chance to go home, see my family and friends, and fuck her for a full week – and I was still and always had been insanely attracted to her and the sex with her had always been great.

Spring Break was actually a lot of fun

We partied together, we hung out with my family together, we met and hung out with each other’s friends, and we had a lot of sex as well. I felt good about the relationship again.

Until….

The last night of Spring Break…. St. Patty’s Day.
Début de l'événement 24.01.2023
Fin de l'événement 24.01.2023
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]]> Fri, 24 Jan 2025 10:44:50 +0100 Do You Know All the Many Forms of Birth Control?

Do You Know All the Many Forms of Birth Control?

Description When Do You Walk Away
It Is All Facebook’s Fault…
How To Be Single at Your 10 Year Reunion
Are One Night Stands Bad?
The Truth About Free Dating Sites
Writing Good Loveawake.com Emails
Taking it Slow vs Taking it Nowhere
26 Things I’ve Learned About Dating
Being Selfish in A Relationship
Signs of a Douchebag
Rules for a Skype Date

Oh, IUD, how I love thee…may I count the ways.

As I stuck my fork into the steaming sesame cabbage-and-salmon creation I had just dished into two bowls, something on the tree caught my eye. “What’s that?” I said to the boy, who was already smirking. “That wasn’t there before.”

“What?” he asked with feigned innocence.

‘Oooh, I love presents,’ I thought as I got up and ran over to the Christmas tree. It was an ornament, but a heavy one with obvious goodies stashed inside. Cracking open the metal bear was easier said than done, but my laughter once it was open made the struggle worth it.

“Chocolate, long-lasting batteries, and a lambskin condom. You know just the way to a girl’s heart.”

Later, as I was finishing off the lavender-infused chocolate truffle – “hey, don’t I get a bite?” he asked as I popped the last morsel into my mouth – I took out the $3 lambskin condom (yes, that’s the cost of one) and thought, “man, this is gonna get expensive.”

See, it’s been a while since I’ve had to worry about the question of consistent birth control. I was on the pill until about age 25, starting on it more specifically because of ridiculous menstrual cramps that I had suffered from every month since I was 12. I mean leave-school-down-eight-advil-writhe-in-bed-for-four-hours-curse-the-day-you-were-born kinda cramps. So, you know, I felt justified.


Birth contorl will make you crazy / Photo: StarMama

But as I began to delve into the field of holistic health, I couldn’t help but actually begin to pay attention to those ‘little’ warnings and precautions listed in great detail in the fold-out included with every pack of pills. It’s amazing how our minds can gloss over possibilities (some might say probabilities) of blood clots, cancer, heart disease, and sexual dysfunction because they list these at the three-quarters mark of every medication commercial and then quickly get back to the smiling people so happy to have found this brave new medicine. Psychology at its best.

Thing is, I was beginning to read book after book, website after website telling me information similar to what Dr. Mercola says in this article: the artificial, synthetic hormones found in birth control pills, estrogen and progestin, are the same hormones used in the hormone-replacement study shut down by the FDA in 2002. Why? The extreme increase in breast cancer. And heart attack. Don’t forget stoke. And my favorite, blood clots.

Ah yes, blood clots. I remember the day my boss received a hand-written letter from his previous assistant, detailing the flight, the sickness, the fact that she never would be the same again. The doctors determined that at age 29, the birth control pills were an intricate part of the equation. And, I was done.

Since then, I’ve primarily used latex condoms for birth control. But I haven’t really been in a long-term, committed relationship, so condoms were the obvious, smart choice anyway. In one short relationship a couple of years ago, we sometimes used lambskin condoms, which are certainly better and less, uh, chaffing.

Now, though, I’m not (and the boy certainly is not) excited about the prospect of using condoms every single time. Again, pricey (though after last week’s article about visiting the STD clinic, a friend covertly sent me a link to a much-reduced version of the lambskins on Amazon. Seriously, they’re like $42 for a 12-pack in the store). And really, at a certain point, who wants to deal with a barrier?

I’ve had so many conversations with my female friends over the years around this particular subject, which generally end with sighs and “well, I don’t really have another choice than to use [choose one: bc pills/Depo Provera/IUD, hormonal or copper/Nuva Ring/Ortho Evra] even though it makes me [choose one: gain weight/have no sex drive/moody as hell/spot throughout the month/depressed/have longer periods/have no periods/feel like a lunatic]. That’s some bull shit, I say.
Début de l'événement 22.01.2022
Fin de l'événement 22.01.2022
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]]> Wed, 22 Jan 2025 10:21:28 +0100 Chicks Before Dicks: not the same as Bros Before Hoes

Chicks Before Dicks: not the same as Bros Before Hoes

Description A Relationship Evolved (and Happy Birthday To My Ex)
The Unforgettable First Kiss
Jealousy Versus Envy
Love Addict: The Pregnancy Dilemma
How Do You Help Someone Who Doesn’t Want Help?
Most Radical Relationship Books On the Market
We Hold Ourselves Back
What Happens When You Actually In Relationship??
Is a Same-Sex Encounter Important in Living Holistically?
You’re a Selfish Bitch and That’s Why You’re Not Married
Learning How to Love Yourself
Love Addict: Writing the Personal
How Do You Learn to Let Go?

Chicks before Dicks? Good saying, but is it true? Let’s take a recent example from my friend O. O and her boyfriend broke up and not even a few weeks later she finds out her very good friend J has broken up with her long term boyfriend and is now dating O’s ex.

O felt betrayed. By her ex for sure, but exes are expected to do shitty things. Mostly she felt betrayed by J. Her good friend who has no problem ruining their friendship over a guy.

Guys have this dumb saying that everyone has heard: bros before hoes. This is not just a saying, this is guy code. Like it’s imprinted into their DNA or etched into a Hammurabi statue of guy code that they must bow down before or else they are denied a penis. I have heard from several guys that they would give up even the girl of their dreams if there was a conflict with one of their guy friends.


However, the same does not go for our the girl equivalent of this saying: chicks before dicks. Or sistas before mistas, besties before testes. Or whatever else saying we have come up with that just doesn’t have the same rhythm as bros before hoes. Our saying does not seem to be etched in stone. We love to say it, but time and time again, I hear stories like O’s. Why is this happening to us? Why can’t we have a girl code as strict as the guy version?

In a typical situation, boys are brought up to respect individuality and encouraged to embrace selfishness. Girls are taught to respect dependence and to provide for others first. So how does this translate into our adult relationships? Guys don’t need to be in a relationship so therefore can suppress their love and put girls on a lower priority. Girls will put someone they love before all else…even if we hate to admit that.

And of course, like everything else in life, these traits fall on a spectrum. Those girls who are more independent and a little more selfish actually tend to value female friendships more, while those girls who are more dependent and nurturing tend to value having a guy in their life more. And the same spectrum is true for guys. Those that are more dependent and nurturing tend to value having a girlfriend more than their buddies.


This would mean that my friend O and I are more selfish, independent girls, and this would without a doubt be true. I value my girl friendships beyond all else, while girls like J and guys like O’s ex need to be in a relationship at all times and will give up everything and everyone in their life to make this happen.

So I guess in the end the real conclusion is not that guys have a better friendship code than girls. It’s that more independent people (girls and guys) have a better friendship code. They are not as anxious without a relationship so do not need to do whatever it takes to jump right into a relationship, including screwing over their friends.

Which leads to my lame attempt to coin a new, universal phrase: individuality before relationships. Okay so that doesn’t rhyme. How about: being alone before the bone. I know, I know…. okay one more try. How about: love your self before hanging your single life up on the shelf. A little long and convoluted, but hey it gets the point across.
Début de l'événement 16.01.2021
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